I'm in the River

2011-08-19T13:54:00.003-05:00

Psalm 118

This free devotional combines conversational prayer - talking to God and listening to Him - with simple prayers and Scripture meditations that build intimacy with God.

We recommend starting your devotional time with worshiping to a praise song, such as "Forever" by Chris Tomlin. You can extend your worship time with "Open for Me", by Heather Clark, which is based on some sections of Psalm 118.

Praise You, God, for Your... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You my thoughts and share with You my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 118.

15 minutes - Read Psalm 118. Here is a way to make this psalm a conversational prayer: Re-write verses 1-6 to be a prayer from you to God. For example, "God, I will say thank You for You are good to me." Re-write verses 6-9 to be from God to you. For example, "I'm with you." Re-write verses 10-12 from you to God, replacing the word nations with the word "enemies". Re-write verse 13-16 and 19-21 from God to you. Re-write verse 24-25 from you to God, and in verse 25, list the things in which you are asking God to give you success. Re-write verse 27 from God to you. Re-write verse 28 from you to God. Re-write verse 29 as God's final response to you.

Selah. God, as I pause and reflect on Psalm 118, what do You want me to see?

2011-08-19T13:46:00.002-05:00

Psalm 117

This free devotional combines conversational prayer - talking to God and listening to Him - with simple prayers and Scripture meditations that build intimacy with God.

We recommend starting your devotional time with worshiping to a praise song, such as "Great is the Lord" by Michael W. Smith.

Praise You, God, for Your... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You my thoughts and share with You my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 117.

15 minutes - Read Psalm 117. Here is a way to make this psalm a conversational prayer: Make each phrase a prayer from you to God. After each phrase, tell God WHY that phrase is true. For example for verse 1, "God, I will praise You. I will boast in You, telling everyone how great, how magnificent, amazing and powerful You are."

Selah. God, as I pause and reflect on Psalm 117, what do You want me to see?

2011-08-09T14:36:00.002-05:00

Psalm 116

This free devotional combines conversational prayer - talking to God and listening to Him - with simple prayers and Scripture meditations that build intimacy with God.

We recommend starting your devotional time with worshiping to a praise song, such as "Highest Praise" by Shannon Wexelberg. You can extend your worship time with "You Have Redeemed My Soul", by Waterdeep on the "Enter the Worship Circle" album, which is based on Psalm 116.

Praise You, God, for Your... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You my thoughts and share with You my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 116.

15 minutes - Read Psalm 116, preferably in the New Living Translation if you have it available. Here is a way to make this psalm a conversational prayer: Re-write verses 1-5 to be from you to God. For example, "I love You because You hear me and answer my prayers." Re-write verses 6-9 to be from God to you. Re-write verses 10-14 from you to God. Re-write verse 15 from God to you. Re-write verse 17 from you to God.

Selah. God, as I pause and reflect on Psalm 116, what do You want me to see?

2011-07-09T14:44:00.002-05:00

Kids Worship #1 - Taste and See

An interactive way to introduce children to a devotional life with God through worship, Scripture meditation, confession of sin, and conversational prayer.

Praise and Thanksgiving. When we want to come into God's presence, how do we come in? (Kids respond.) Psalm 100:4 (NIV) says, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise..." Can you learn that with me? (Kids respond.) I’m going to start by saying a few of the words and then you echo after me. "Enter his gates (Kids respond.) with thanksgiving (Kids respond.) and his courts (Kids respond.) with praise..." (Kids respond.) Good job!

What do you think it means by entering his gates? (Kids respond.) The gate is kind of like God's door. We go up to God's door and knock, because we want to come in and be with Him. The way we knock on God's door is by giving thanks to Him for something. Who is ready to knock on God's door? (Kids respond.) OK, when you knock on the door, tell God "thank you" for something. (Children knock on a door or a wall and say thank you as they enter the "courts".)

Now remember, the Bible verse also says that we enter His courts with praise. After we come in the front door of God's house, we enter into His courts, which is kind of like God’s living room, by giving God praise. Today we are going to start by giving praise to God with the song "Let Everything that Has Breath (Praise the Lord).” And then we are going to do a second song that is a worship song. But let’s start with our praise song. Can everyone get an instrument so we can make a lot of joyful praise noise to God? (Kids respond.) (Play song from Psalm 150 on the "Hide 'Em in Your Heart: Praise and Worship for Kids" cd.)

Now we are going to do a quiet and beautiful song. It is a really good dancing song for all our ballerinas. It is also a good song for moving your hands all different ways. The song says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” We are going to be learning more about worship for the next few days/weeks but before we learn HOW to worship, we have to know WHY we worship! We worship God because of who He is and one really important thing to know about God is that He is good! OK, ballerinas, are you ready to do our beautiful song? (Kids respond.) (Play song from Psalm 34:8, 7 on the "Hide 'Em in Your Heart: Praise and Worship for Kids" cd.)

Search.OK, kids, we are going to get into our circle/s now. (Have children sit down in a circle.) We are going to practice our Bible verse. It is Psalm 51:10 (KJV). I’m going to say a few words and then you echo it after me. Create in me (Kids respond - Create in me) a clean heart (Kids respond - a clean heart) O God (Kids respond - O God) and renew (Kids respond - and renew) a right spirit (Kids respond - a right spirit) within me (Kids respond - within me).

Who remembers how we get our heart dirty? (Kids respond.) The Bible says that everybody does wrong things and it is like our hearts get dirty. When you do wrong things, it is like it builds a wall between you and God. Can you kids help me build a wall with these blocks? (Kids respond.) When there is a wall between you and God, how do you get rid of the wall? (Kids respond.) You can say, "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry." Then that gives Jesus permission to tear down the wall between us. Can you repeat that after me? "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry." (Kids respond.) That is how easy it is to ask God to forgive us! Let’s say it again, and this time we will break down the wall. (Say with children "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry" as you knock down the wall of blocks.) (Depending on age of children, and their understanding of spiritual things, you will have to modify this section. The point is for them to become familiar with confession of sin, so it becomes a natural response.)

Ask. We can ask God to help us when we have a problem or especially when we are hurt or don't feel good. Does anyone need God's help today with a problem? (Kids respond.) Does anyone have a boo boo? (Kids respond.) Would you like us to ask God to help you feel better? (Kids respond.) (If it will work for the children, have one child pray for the other. If not, you can have children ask for themselves or you can do it out loud. The point is for prayer to be modeled in a very natural way.)

Listen. Who remembers the Bible story about Samuel? (Kids respond.) Samuel was lying in bed when he heard a voice say, “Samuel.” And finally the old priest, Eli, helped Samuel understand that God was trying to talk to him! So then he said, “Speak, Lord, I’m listening” (from 1 Samuel 3:10). Do you know that Samuel was just a kid about as old as you when he heard God talk to him? (Kids respond.) We want to practice listening for God's voice, just like Samuel did.

Now, how do we hear from God? (Kids respond.) Do we hear a voice out loud just like when our moms call us to supper? (Kids respond.) It doesn’t happen that way very often, even in the Bible. Most of the time, it will be an “idea popper”! Can you say that? (Kids respond – idea popper.) An idea will pop into our minds that will be from God. But everybody gets ideas in different ways. We are going to practice right now. Close your eyes and think of your really good friend. What kind of thought popped into your mind? Did you think of their name? Did you see a picture of their face like a photograph? Did you see a memory like a movie in your mind of you and your friend doing something together? Did you get a feeling? (Kids respond.)

That might be the way that God will have ideas pop into your mind: with a word, or idea, or feeling, or picture, or like seeing a little movie. We are going to practice getting very quiet and listening for God. We are going to close our eyes and be very quiet and see if any idea pops into our minds. (Take 20 seconds or so.) Did anyone get an idea pop into their mind? (Kids respond.) How do we know whether that idea was from God or just from ourselves? (Kids respond.) Well, we can start by seeing if that idea is something we see in the Bible. But we have to practice, practice, practice, and the more that we get to know God, the clearer it will be whether the idea was from Him or just from ourselves.

Meditate. Let’s talk about the song that we sang earlier, "Taste and See." It came from a place in the Bible called Psalm 34:8, 7 (NIV). I'm going to read it to you from my Bible. (Read.) Question time: Why do you think the Bible would say, “Taste and see that the Lord is good?” (Kids respond.) Does that mean we can eat God the way we eat an apple? (Kids respond.) When God wants us to understand something, lots of times He will give us a picture that we can see to help us to understand something that we can’t see. What would happen if someone told you that this apple tastes good? (Kids respond.) Would you believe them? (Kids respond.) Wouldn’t you rather just taste the apple and find out yourself if it tastes good? (Kids respond.) That is how it is with God: He wants us to experience Him for ourselves, not just have somebody else tell us about Him! One way that we can find out that God is good is by being thankful. When we say “thank You, God”, then we start paying attention to what God is doing. The more that we notice all the good things God has given us, the more that we will understand how good He really is! Can we practice right now saying, “God, You are good!” (Kids respond.) Can we practice saying, “Thank You, God, for being so good to me!” (Kids respond.)

Hands-on Worship Activity: OK, now we are going to praise God in a different way! Instead of singing, or dancing, or using instruments, we are going to make some paper fruit to remind us to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” You can draw some fruit or you can take the colored paper and fold it or cut it out in the shape of fruit. You can make it look however you want but everybody needs to do their very best picture drawing because this is a present of praise to God! At the top we are going to write, "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" If you need some help writing it, then the adults will help you. (Listen to the cd again, starting with the song from Psalm 34, as they do their artwork.)

Copyright 2011 by Kendra Lane Barrow. Contact at imintheriver@fuse.net

2011-07-09T14:09:00.003-05:00

Kids Praise #9 - 1 Peter 2:9

An interactive way to introduce children to a devotional life with God through worship, Scripture meditation, confession of sin, and conversational prayer.

Praise and Thanksgiving. When we want to come into God's presence, how do we come in? (Kids respond.) Psalm 100:4 (NIV) says, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise..." Can you learn that with me? (Kids respond.) I’m going to start by saying a few of the words and then you echo after me. "Enter his gates (Kids respond.) with thanksgiving (Kids respond.) and his courts (Kids respond.) with praise..." (Kids respond.) Good job!

What do you think it means by entering his gates? (Kids respond.) The gate is kind of like God's door. We go up to God's door and knock, because we want to come in and be with Him. The way we knock on God's door is by giving thanks to Him for something. Who is ready to knock on God's door? (Kids respond.) OK, when you knock on the door, tell God "thank you" for something. (Children knock on a door or a wall and say thank you as they enter the "courts".)

Now remember, the Bible verse also says that we enter His courts with praise. After we come in the front door of God's house, we enter into His courts, which is kind of like God’s living room, by giving God praise. Today we are going to give praise to God with the song "You are a Chosen Generation.” Do you know what a generation means? (Kids respond.) A generation is a group of people born around the same time. So all of your moms and dads are one generation and all of you kids are a different generation. And God is saying in this song that YOU are a special generation that has been chosen to proclaim, or say really loud to everyone who will hear, praises to God! (Play song from 1 Peter 2:9 on the "Hide 'Em in Your Heart: Praise and Worship for Kids" cd.)

Search.OK, kids, we are going to get into our circle/s now. (Have children sit down in a circle.) We are going to practice our Bible verse. It is Psalm 51:10 (KJV). I’m going to say a few words and then you echo it after me. Create in me (Kids respond - Create in me) a clean heart (Kids respond - a clean heart) O God (Kids respond - O God) and renew (Kids respond - and renew) a right spirit (Kids respond - a right spirit) within me (Kids respond - within me).

Who remembers how we get our heart dirty? (Kids respond.) The Bible says that everybody does wrong things and it is like our hearts get dirty. When you do wrong things, it is like it builds a wall between you and God. Can you kids help me build a wall with these blocks? (Kids respond.) When there is a wall between you and God, how do you get rid of the wall? (Kids respond.) You can say, "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry." Then that gives Jesus permission to tear down the wall between us. Can you repeat that after me? "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry." (Kids respond.) That is how easy it is to ask God to forgive us! Let’s say it again, and this time we will break down the wall. (Say with children "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry" as you knock down the wall of blocks.) (Depending on age of children, and their understanding of spiritual things, you will have to modify this section. The point is for them to become familiar with confession of sin, so it becomes a natural response.)

Ask. We can ask God to help us when we have a problem or especially when we are hurt or don't feel good. Does anyone need God's help today with a problem? (Kids respond.) Does anyone have a boo boo? (Kids respond.) Would you like us to ask God to help you feel better? (Kids respond.) (If it will work for the children, have one child pray for the other. If not, you can have children ask for themselves or you can do it out loud. The point is for prayer to be modeled in a very natural way.)

Listen. Who remembers the Bible story about Samuel? (Kids respond.) Samuel was lying in bed when he heard a voice say, “Samuel.” And finally the old priest, Eli, helped Samuel understand that God was trying to talk to him! So then he said, “Speak, Lord, I’m listening” (from 1 Samuel 3:10). Do you know that Samuel was just a kid about as old as you when he heard God talk to him? (Kids respond.) We want to practice listening for God's voice, just like Samuel did.

Now, how do we hear from God? (Kids respond.) Do we hear a voice out loud just like when our moms call us to supper? (Kids respond.) It doesn’t happen that way very often, even in the Bible. Most of the time, it will be an “idea popper”! Can you say that? (Kids respond – idea popper.) An idea will pop into our minds that will be from God. But everybody gets ideas in different ways. We are going to practice right now. Close your eyes and think of your really good friend. What kind of thought popped into your mind? Did you think of their name? Did you see a picture of their face like a photograph? Did you see a memory like a movie in your mind of you and your friend doing something together? Did you get a feeling? (Kids respond.)

That might be the way that God will have ideas pop into your mind: with a word, or idea, or feeling, or picture, or like seeing a little movie. We are going to practice getting very quiet and listening for God. We are going to close our eyes and be very quiet and see if any idea pops into our minds. (Take 20 seconds or so.) Did anyone get an idea pop into their mind? (Kids respond.) How do we know whether that idea was from God or just from ourselves? (Kids respond.) Well, we can start by seeing if that idea is something we see in the Bible. But we have to practice, practice, practice, and the more that we get to know God, the clearer it will be whether the idea was from Him or just from ourselves.

Meditate. Let’s talk about the song that we sang earlier, “You are a Chosen Generation." It came from a place in the Bible called 1 Peter 2:9 (NKV). I'm going to read it to you from my Bible. (Read.) Question time: Does anyone remember what the word “generation” means? (Kids respond.) A generation is a group of people born around the same time. Why do you think God would choose your generation? (Kids respond.) What do you think is different about your generation than the generation of your mom and dad? (Kids respond.) Your generation has a special purpose in the heart of God. As you grown up, we pray that you will understand that more. But every generation has been chosen to proclaim or say really loud praise to God. Can you say, “Praise You, God!” with me right now? (Kids respond.) Can we say it again even louder? (Kids respond.)

Hands-on Worship Activity: OK, now we are going to praise God in a different way! 1 Peter 2:9 also says that God called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. That means that even when your life seems dark and you don’t know where you are going, God is calling you into His light, which is Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world, and He can show us where we are going and what to do next. Can you draw a picture of a dark place on your paper, and then a child walking toward a light? You can make it look however you want but everybody needs to do their very best picture drawing because this is a present of praise to God! At the top we are going to write, "Called into the light!" If you need some help writing it, then the adults will help you. (Listen to the cd again, starting with the song from 1 Peter 2:9, as they do their artwork.)

2011-07-05T09:17:00.012-05:00

Kids Praise #8 - Psalm 145

2011-07-05T08:32:00.018-05:00

Kids Praise #7 - Psalm 106

2011-06-29T16:38:00.007-05:00

Kids Praise #6 - Psalm 103

2011-06-28T08:16:00.007-05:00

Kids Praise #5 - Psalm 63

2011-06-27T08:42:00.009-05:00

Kids Praise #4 - Psalm 145

2011-06-26T16:45:00.013-05:00

Kids Praise #3 - Psalm 135

2011-06-25T09:41:00.008-05:00

Kids Praise #2 - Psalm 47

2011-06-24T08:53:00.009-05:00

Kids Praise #1 - Psalm 150

This simple devotional format - an acrostic of Psalms - is a way to introduce children to God through worship, Scripture meditation, confession of sin, and conversational prayer.

Praise and Thanksgiving. When we want to come into God's presence, how do we come in? Does anyone remember? (Kids respond.) Psalm 100:4 (NIV) says, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise..." The gate is kinda like God's door. We go up to God's door and knock, because we want to come in and be with Him. We knock on God's door by giving thanks to Him for something. Who is ready to knock on God's door? (Kids respond.) OK, when you knock on the door, tell God "thank you" for something. (Children knock on a door or a wall and say thank you as they enter the "courts".) Now remember, the Bible verse also says that we enter His courts with praise. After we come in the front door of God's house, we enter His living room, or His courts, by giving God praise. What do you want to praise God for today? (Kids respond.)

Start by praising God with instruments and marching to "Let Everything that Has Breath" (Psalm 150) on the Hide 'Em in Your Heart: Praise and Worship for Kids cd.

Search. (Have children sit down in a circle.) OK, kids, I'm going to say some words from Psalm 51:10 (KJV) and then you echo it after me. Create in me (Create in me) a clean heart (a clean heart) O God (O God); and renew (and renew) a right spirit (a right spirit) within me (within me). Why would we need to get our heart clean? (Kids respond.) The Bible says that everybody does wrong things and it is like our hearts get dirty. But we can say "God, I was wrong and I'm sorry." Then He promises to make our heart clean again. (Depending on age of children, and their understanding of spiritual things, you will have to modify this section. The point is for them to become familiar with confession of sin, so it becomes a natural response.)

Ask. We can ask God to help us when we have a problem or especially when we are hurt or don't feel good. Does anyone need God's help today with a problem or a boo boo? Would you like us to ask God to help you feel better? (If it will work for the children, have one child pray for the other. If not, you can have child ask for themselves or you can do it out loud. The point is for prayer to be modeled in a very natural way.)

Listen. We also want to practice listening for God's voice, just like Samuel did. Do you remember that Samuel was just a kid about as old as you when he heard God talk to him? Let's practice getting very quiet and listening for God. We might get an idea, see a picture, or get a thought from God. We are going to keep practicing listening for God so that someday it will be just like breathing. (Spend about 1 minute being quiet, depending on the age of the children. Then ask the children to share what they experienced. Note to Charlotte Mason families: This develops the habits of attention and thought of God.)

Meditate. Read Psalm 150 out loud. The NIV will correspond to the words of the praise song used earlier. Activity: Draw a picture of instruments, people, and animals praising God. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150:6 (NIV)

Copyright 2011 by Kendra Lane Barrow. Contact at imintheriver@fuse.net

2011-06-24T08:40:00.004-05:00

Psalm 113

This simple devotional format - an acrostic of Psalms - combines conversational prayer, talking to God and listening to Him, with the basic activities of intimacy with God.

We recommend starting your devotional time with worshiping to a praise song, such as "Highest Praise" by Shannon Wexelberg.

Praise You, God, for Your... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You my thoughts and share with You my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 113.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 113. If you have it available, read it in The Message. Go back to a word or phrase that stands out to you. What thoughts or feelings does it stir?
15 minutes - Read Psalm 113 in The Message, if you have it available. Re-write the words of the psalm to be from you to God. For example, "Just to speak Your name is praise!"

Selah. God, as I pause and reflect on Psalm 113, what do You want me to see?

2011-06-22T08:29:00.005-05:00

Psalm 112

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You my thoughts and share with You my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 112.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 112. Then go back and re-read the beginning of verse 4. Is there an area of your life that feels dark or where you can't see your way? How might this verse be a promise to you in your current situation?
15 minutes - Read Psalm 112. This psalm works well for intercessory prayer, which means praying on behalf of someone else. If you are single, you can use this psalm to pray for your pastor or a spiritual leader in your life. If you are married, re-write the verses as a prayer for your husband. For example with verse 1, "God, bless my pastor for his love and respect for You." Or, according to verse 7, "God, I pray that my husband will have no fear of bad news (with his job or this upcoming project), but that his heart would be steadfast, trusting in You for his security."

Selah. God, as I pause and reflect on Psalm 112, what do You want me to see?

2011-06-15T15:21:00.002-05:00

Psalm 111

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 111.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 111.
10 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 111. Step 2) Using a name of God that feels personal to you, re-write verses 2-4 and 7-10 directly to God. For example, "Your deeds are amazing, Jesus! Everything You do reveals Your glory and majesty." The New Living Translation works well for this particular devotional.
20 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 111. Step 2) Follow the 10 minute directions. Step 3) Go back and look at verse 2 in NLT, "All who delight in him should ponder [his amazing deeds]." Spend time remembering and pondering the amazing things God has done for you. Remembering them is the first step toward being thankful for them.

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 111.

2011-06-08T13:13:00.004-05:00

Psalm 108

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 108.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 108.
10 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 108. Step 2) Write out verses 4, 6, 12-13 from God's perspective. For example, "My love is great, higher than the heavens."
20 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 108. Step 2) Follow the 10 minute directions. Step 3) You are the one He loves! Name the ways you see His love and faithfulness in your life.

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 108. What do you want me to understand about it? How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-06-07T13:52:00.003-05:00

Psalm 107

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 107.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 107.
10 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 107. Step 2) Psalm 107 is about God's great love for us. It describes four types of people: the wanderer, searching for meaning and a place to belong (verses 4-9); the prisoner, depressed and unable to break free (verses 10-16); the fool, who is suffering the consequences of bad choices (verses 17-22); and the sailor in a storm of life, with life circumstances that feel out of their control and overwhelming (verses 23-32). Re-read the section of Psalm 107 that resonates with a current or past situation in your life, noting the way that God responds to and redeems that person.
20 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 18. Step 2) Follow the 10 minute directions. Step 3) Write out your own cry to God acknowledging the ways you have been a wanderer, prisoner, fool, or sailor in a storm of life. Step 4) Use the last two verses of the applicable section of Psalm 107 as a model for you to thank God for how He has or will redeem you.

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 107. What do you want me to understand about it? How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-06-04T16:34:00.002-05:00

Psalm 18

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 18.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 18.
10 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 18. Step 2) Rewrite these verses as though God is speaking them directly to you - Psalm 18:1-2, 16-19, 28-30, 32-36. For example, starting with verse 1 and 2 based on the NIV, "I am your strength. I am your rock. I am your fortress and your deliverer."
20 minutes - Step 1) Read Psalm 18. Step 2) Rewrite a few verses in your own words as your own prayer to God today. Step 3) Then rewrite these verses as though God is speaking them directly to you - Psalm 18:1-2, 16-19, 28-30, 32-36. For example, starting with verse 1 and 2 based on the NIV, "I am your strength. I am your rock. I am your fortress and your deliverer."

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 18. What do you want me to understand about it? How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-05-18T14:24:00.004-05:00

Psalm 105

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 105.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 105:1-4. If you are alone, consider practicing verse 2 by actually singing a praise song to God OUT LOUD. Worshiping God by yourself can be a very powerful experience. I sang The Doxology ("Praise God from whom all blessings flow...").
10 minutes - Read Psalm 105:1-4. Try writing an antiphonal prayer by taking each line of the verse and writing your own response to it. For example, start with the first complete thought in verse 1, "Give thanks to the Lord." Then write a line of prayer in response, such as, "Thank You, God, for loving me."
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. Focus on verse 19, which is referencing a dream Joseph had as a young man about his future. It took decades for the dream to come true, and in the meantime, Joseph had to wrestle with living in the "not yet" and wondering why his life looked so different from his dream (see Genesis 37, 40-45 for more). The NKJV describes Joseph's situation in Psalm 105:19 as, "Until the time that his word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him." The NLT version says, "Until the time came to fulfill his word, the Lord tested Joseph's character." Are you in a place of wrestling and waiting? Do you have dreams from the Lord that are unfulfilled? Are you wondering if he has forgotten you? See verse 42. Can you re-commit to trust the God of Abraham, Joseph, and Jacob to remember His promises to you? Can you ask God to give you perspective like He gave to Joseph in Genesis 45:5-8?

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 105. What do you want me to understand about it? How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-05-16T14:21:00.009-05:00

Meditation on Psalm 104

Praise the Lord, I tell myself.

You, O Lord, are very great. Everything You do declares You as the Great King over all the earth: majestic, beautiful, and worthy of Your title.

Glorious light surrounds You like a priestly robe. From earth to heaven, You fill space with Yourself - no end, no limit. You use the wind to deliver your messages; You tell fire what to do. You control the stars and every molecule of space. Every single animal, plant, mineral, and water source - it's all Yours. You, in Your wisdom, have made all things.

Everything we have comes from You and You provide for us all that we need to nourish us in body, soul, and spirit. Every living being looks to You for daily needs. It is Your open hand that gives us the good things that we long for: destiny, purpose, hope for a future, faithful love, grace for all our mistakes.

And what You have given me - it, too, is good - and more than I deserve.

Whatever I have, I will share.
Whoever I am, I will embrace.
With all that is within me, I will give thanks.

2011-05-16T14:06:00.002-05:00

Psalm 104

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I describe to You my life, my thoughts, and my feelings.

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 104.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 104:24-25, and 27-28. Then re-write verses 27-28 from God's perspective. For example, "Every creature looks to Me to give them food..."
10 minutes - Read Psalm 104:1-4, 13-15, 27-28. Put into your own words why God is great. How has He provided good things for your needs and your desires?
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. Journal about a phrase or verse that catches your attention. For example, focus on verse 27-28. What does it mean for God to provide for your needs in the "proper time"?

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 104. What do you want me to understand about it? How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-05-02T14:45:00.007-05:00

Psalm 103

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for Your ______________. Thank You, God, for _______________.

Search my heart, God. Show me what is not right so that You can forgive and restore me.

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God, as I tell You about my life. These are the things I think about and feel...

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 103.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 103:1-2. Re-write these verses as though you are speaking directly to God. For example, "with all my inmost being, I will praise Your holy name."
10 minutes - Read Psalm 103:1-5. Answer these questions from verses 3-5. How has God forgiven and healed you? How has He redeemed your life from destruction? How has He surrounded you with love and mercy? How has He satisfied your desires with good things? (Questions based on multiple translations: NIV, NKJV, and NLT.)
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. Step A: With "I will" statements, describe the way you will interact with God as shown in Psalm 103:1-2, 18, and 22. For example, "I will praise You." Step B: With "You will" or "You are" statements, describe the way God treats you or feels about you from Psalm 103: 3-6, 8-14, and 17. For example from verse 3, "You forgive all my sins."

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 103.

What do you want me to understand about it?
How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-04-26T13:00:00.002-05:00

Psalm 101

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Do I need to confess something to You?

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God. This is what is happening in my life...

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 101.

5 minutes - Read Psalm 101:2. This verse is a declaration of David's choice. He is choosing what kind of life he wants to live. He is declaring the kind of heart he wants to have, knowing it affects the atmosphere of his home. Tell God your choice... I will lead a _________ life. I will have a __________ heart in my home.
10 minutes - Read Psalm 101:1-3, 6-7. Fill in the blanks of this prayer with the words that you want to describe your own life. God, like David, I want to live a _________ life and have a ________ heart. I want my home to have a ___________ atmosphere, therefore, I will keep my eyes on _____________ , I will use my mouth to sing ________, and I will speak __________ words. I will surround myself with people who are ___________________ to be my friends and role-models.
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. By making two columns, write down the words/phrases that describe the way David wants to be (and his household to be) and the way he describes the "ungodly" -- people who are choose to do wrong and want to continue living that way. Note: use positive words for David's column. For example, for verse 3, you could describe David as wanting to look on pure things (rather than describing what he doesn't want to see). Then in your own words, tell God about the life you want to be living: your heart, your character, your home, your eyes, your mouth, your friends and role models.

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 101.

What do you want me to understand about it?
How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-04-20T13:52:00.002-05:00

Meditation on Philippians 3:12-14

A simple way to bring God's Word deeper into your heart: re-write a section of Scripture in your own words. This is mine from today...

I have a goal.

I have not reached my goal, I am not yet mature, but I am still in process.

Part of the process is reaching forward
toward the woman I was created to be
and the amazing God who created me.

I am unfinished
-a work in progress-
but even in my weakness, I am beautiful.

I do this one thing over and over:
I let go of my past failures and
run toward the Man of my dreams.

2011-04-18T14:17:00.003-05:00

My Meditation on Psalm 100

According to the directions in my previous devotional post, I re-wrote Psalm 100 in my own words speaking it directly to God. This is based on the New International Version of the Bible.

Hey! I will shout to You with joy!
I will acknowledge that You are worthy of worship, and do it with gladness.
I come to You with songs of joy in my heart.
You are God, my God.
You created me and I belong to You.
I open up the doors of my heart to You, celebrating that I can know You and love You!
I come into Your chamber, worshiping You with songs of praise.
Oh, so worthy! Oh, so beautiful!
Oh, so glorious and magnificent God!
Thank You! Thank You!
I will praise You, God. I will exalt the name of Jesus.
You are so good!
Your love endures forever: it never gives up and never lets go of me.
Just as You have been faithful to my parents, and my grandparents,
so are You faithful to me, and my children, and those generations still to come!

2011-04-11T14:38:00.002-05:00

Psalm 100 Devotional

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Do I need to confess something to You?

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God. This is what is happening in my life...

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 100.

5 minutes - Re-write Psalm 100:2 in your own words.
10 minutes - Re-write the first sentence of each verse in Psalm 100:1-4 beginning with the words "I will". For example in verse 1, "I will shout for joy to the Lord."
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. Re-write the key thoughts as if you are speaking them directly to God. For example in verse 5, "You are so good! Your love endures forever." (See next post for my own version based on Psalm 100 in the NIV.)

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 100.

What do you want me to understand about it?
How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-04-11T14:11:00.002-05:00

Psalm 1 Devotional

Based on an acrostic of PSALMS, this devotional is a simple way to make the Psalms personal as you pray and meditate on the Bible. Instructions: Finish the sentence or answer the questions. When you get to the M section, you can choose the option that works for the time you have available.

Praise You, God, for... Thank You, God, for...

Search my heart, God. Do I need to confess something to You?

Act on my behalf, God. I ask You to...

Listen to me, God. This is what is happening in my life...

Move in me, God, as I meditate on Psalm 1.

5 minutes - Re-write Psalm 1:6 in your own words.
10 minutes - Journal about a key phrase in Psalm 1:1-2.
20 minutes - Read entire psalm. Re-write the key thoughts as if they were written about you. For example, "I will be blessed if I do not listen to bad counsel."

Selah. God, help me pause and think about what I've read in Psalm 1.

What do you want me to understand about it?
How do you want me to apply it to my life?

2011-04-01T14:24:00.031-05:00

Lessons from Paul

Friends, I have been studying the book of Philippians for the last month or two. As I was praying about some of my concerns the other day, I found myself having an imaginary conversation with the Apostle Paul. I've read Philippians so many times recently that Paul's answers seemed to come into my mind as soon as I would ask a question. It was a unique experience for me. I share it with you in hopes that it will encourage your own heart as it did mine.

Me: Brother Paul, what do you have to teach me?

Paul: You worry too much about your children.

Me: So true.

Paul: It is not that you should love your children less. I had a great love for the church in Philippi. They were always on my mind and always in my prayers. I would grieve deeply when one became ill or when they weren’t getting along. I didn’t want the Romans to kill me because of the sorrow it would cause the church in Philippi. I’d put so much of myself into them that I didn’t want them to be like sheep without a shepherd. They were like my children and I would have done anything to protect them, comfort them, and teach them.

Me: But Brother Paul, I’m so scared of someone or something hurting my children. They are so little, so fragile, and I feel so protective. I don’t know what to do with the intensity of this mother’s love.

Paul: Beloved, don’t love them less-love Jesus more. The more you love Him, the more you know Him, the more you embrace Him and His Kingdom... the more these things will shift inside you. Lesser things will fade away and important eternal things will be put into their rightful places.

Me: I want everything in my life to be in its rightful place but that kind of peace feels out of reach!

Paul: Beloved, let me give you a simple place to start. Whatever is true and whatever is lovely, think on these things. Take your worries and make them prayers. Ask for the practical wisdom you need. Fill your mind with the One who is real and He will fill you with the peace that you seek.

-Based on Philippians 1:3-4, 7-8, 23-26; 2:16, 19, 23-24, 27-28; 3:7-11; 4:1-3, 6-9 (NIV)

Note: Sometimes worship happens in the secret place. Sometimes it happens in a room full of people. Sometimes it happens with words. Ann Voskamp is a worshiper with words and in deeds. Her blog inspires me and her book challenges me to new levels of maturity in Jesus .

Ann is offering a scholarship opportunity to She Speaks Conference, where women with a heart to serve the Father and His daughters through speaking, writing and leading can grow in their giftings.

2011-04-01T13:19:00.002-05:00

Today's Meditation
Get up, God! Stand up and take action. Get your hands dirty.
Please don't lose track of the people who need you!

(klb paraphrase of Psalm 10:12)

Today's Prayer
Lord, we want You to act,
we want to feel You,
know You,
experience You.

And wonder of wonders,
You want to be felt by us,
known by us,
experienced by us.

Jesus, open my eyes
so that I can see You are
a Man of Action
and true to Your every word.
-klb

2011-03-31T15:31:00.002-05:00

Thank you, God, for your good purposes which have drawn me to this day.
Because You have anointed me,
because You have been grooming me for Your business without me knowing it,
because you have forgiven me much,
I can now give back to You the fruit of what has grown in my heart.

This is what I was made for!

Extravagant love in the secret place
will overflow into the meeting place.

2011-03-30T13:59:00.002-05:00

"Perfect love casts out all fear."

I have had a lot of fear lately. Fears from my past. Fears about my present situation. Fears for the future.

So I have been looking up Scripture to help me fight these fears. The Greek word translated as "perfect" in 1 John 4:18 doesn't mean without blemish or mistakes. It means love that has reached its goal, love that has matured, love that has fulfilled its purpose.

It is ok that I'm not complete yet. I just have to start to love.

Today I start by choosing not to be anxious about anything. Instead I will pray. I will take my worries and make them prayers. I will present my requests to God. I trust that His peace will come to me, transcending my understanding, guarding my heart and my mind (based on Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

2011-03-30T12:43:00.003-05:00

Somehow I had a baby, and then another baby, and then the years flew by and I forgot about this blog. I have been writing "in my closet" for the last two years on a manuscript that changed from a book into a series of messages meant to be shared in person with corresponding devotional booklets.

After sharing a few devotionals in a group format, I am convinced that this is the beginning of the second half of my life. It is a small and humble place to start, and yet, I can look behind me and see how God has prepared me for this moment over years of time, and throughout moments of triumph and heartache. As so many relatives and friends have confirmed after hearing me talk about it, "This makes so much sense!"

In my heart was a dream. In God's dream was my heart.

2005-07-26T17:21:00.000-05:00

I am preparing to go to my once-every-two-years family reunion in Colorado (I can never remember if that means bi-ennial or bi-annual). For those of you who know my mother's maiden name, it is a big deal when that many people gather together using that name. Last time our reunion sign got stolen from my aunt's front yard. Front yard of what we affectionately term "the compound" because they have bought about 6 adjoining lots with homes in order to house all the family for the reunion and their various guests who come from Hong Kong during the remainder of the year.

I am looking forward to good food cooked by someone else. Specialties such as steamed/grilled corn rubbed with lime or this really good Indian spice (fast street food in India). I am panting for the pool and cooler climate and the wide open beautiful skies. The compound is on top of a mesa so it allows for an unobstructed view. I anticipate the conversations with cousins and aunts/uncles who are spread across the globe. I am smiling just thinking about how fun it will be to be there with Xavier, my much-loved nephew, as the family-at-large meets him for the first time. And a whole week with my husband!

Life is good.

2005-07-19T12:35:00.000-05:00

Was just on Aaron Klinefelter's blog. Noticed for the first time a similarity between blog names and bumper stickers. I wonder, "for the one title that will introduce you to the entire internet community, why did you choose ______________?" Especially when they are negative. Such as "__________ sucks". Do you really want to be defined by what you hate? Anyway, if you want to listen to somebody rant and rave, just ask my husband John how he feels about bumper stickers.

I've got this little handy-dandy devotional book that my mom gave me. In the past, I might have rejected this sort of thing.... (get into the Word yourself and dig deep!) but the way my life is right now, it seems like some days I can hardly make it to the one-minute version of time with God. This morning's entry was about praising God every day based on Ps 146. He is worthy of praise despite my circumstances of the day. Well, what do you know but I come into work and get blasted by someone else's crisis (that they want to make my crisis). I hadn't even put my lunch in the fridge yet and the day went to "hell in handbasket" (what does that mean anyway?). And do you know, the verse and encouragement of the morning came back to me. Praise God today. Praise Him now in the midst of my heart pounding and my blood boiling because I'm mad. Lord, thank you for today, even though my circumstances lead me to feel like it is not so good a day, because reality is that You are good and powerful and worthy and amazing. You are faithful in all You say and You are gracious in all You do.

2005-07-05T17:44:00.000-05:00

We had one of those nice relaxed family holiday get-togethers at the lake over the July 4 weekend. (It really was nice; I am fortunate to have a family I enjoy being with.)

Highlights included seeing nephew baby Xavier paddling around in this inflatable yellow thing with a yellow hat reminiscent of a duck, going around the lake on a pontoon boat, a golf scramble with 3 family teams and a goofball award ceremony. Another favorite was the family gift to Bill Jones (my sister's husband's father who owned the lake cottage). He is an ob/gyn physician and we presented him with a sign for his office: "Dr. Jones...at your cervix."

John and I had some good conversations in the car on the 4 hour drive home. Usually when we try to think of baby names (hey, this kid is coming!) the discussion degenerates into thinking of the most ABSURD names possible. Like....Kookamonga or Blue or....I can't even think of them because the absurd ones usually come from my husband's mouth.

We rested on 4th of July and then I went to the House of Prayer. The Lord had a special gift for us that night...Sandie mentioned some things in the car that became a theme for the evening. Mike sang his own "Declaration of DEpendence". The only way we can be free is to be His "slave", to completely belong to Him. We prayed that there would be no hesitation or question in the way that we follow Him. Jesus is worthy! Oh, if we could only see the Man with eyes like flames of fire. He is the Beautiful Flame, the Beautiful Fire!

It reminded me of Blaise Pascal describing a moment when the Holy Spirit revealed the Beautiful Flame to him.

I quote A.W. Tozer on Pascal, "He was considered a genius in mathematics, and his scientific inquiry was broad. He was a philosopher and a writer. But best of all, he experienced a personal, overwhelming encounter with God one night that changed his life.

Pascal wrote on a piece of paper a brief account of his experience, folded the paper and kept it in a pocket close to his heart, apparently as a reminder of what he had felt. Those who attended him at his death found the worn, creased paper. In Pascal’s own hand it read: From about half-past ten at night to about half-after midnight—fire! O God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob—not the God of the philosophers and the wise. The God of Jesus Christ who can be known only in the ways of the Gospel. Security—feeling—peace—joy—tears of joy. Amen"

2005-06-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

I looked at my garden this morning...it sadly shows signs of neglect. However, I'm a bit busy growing this little person in me (the size of a fist now) and it is taking most of my energy.

I'm asking the Lord to show me the spiritual metaphors in pregnancy. Usually what He does in the natural world has spiritual correlations. Last night at Cincinnati House of Prayer, He showed me that the Vine (Jesus) is our umbilical cord to connect us to the Father and the heavenlies. As long as we are on the earth, we've got to stay connected to the Vine in order to live. When we are "birthed" into our new life in heaven, we will be with Him and won't need that umbilical cord any longer. I told Mike and Sandie about it in the car on the way home, and Mike remarked that with this metaphor, it means our entire life here on earth is pre-natal!

2005-06-21T12:55:00.000-05:00

The quote below was sent to me...I like it....

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, glass of wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!"

2005-06-18T14:45:00.000-05:00

Well, lame lame lame. I have not written on here for several months, as my old friend John McCollum pointed out to me today in an unexpected divine appointment.

What is going on? It feels like spring in my heart. Things are budding and becoming alive again. Can't name it all but I feel the stirrings. If there was one word that could summarize last year... it was suffering. All my energy went toward survival and grief.

The Lord reminded me today that at Easter I had gone to "my tree" (a special tree in Spring Grove Cemetary that is a metaphor to me) . When I looked at the tree, barren and stripped from a long winter, the Lord said, referring to me being like the tree, "she looks dead, but she's not dead". Inside the tree was all of the strength for spring and all of the beginnings of leaves and buds, but the outside looked so bare and forgotten.

Last year, I looked dead, but I was not dead. Now is spring and summer, and I no longer look dead. My gifts of prayer and prophecy and intimacy are beginning to show again and it feels good to be alive and thriving.

2005-03-03T09:27:00.000-05:00

Reflections on Psalm 8

O Yahweh, my King,
Your name shouts out who You are throughout the earth!
Worthy One, Amazing One, excellent in every way.
Your shining light floods the universe
from my living room to Your throne room.

Babies like Xavier, nursing and helpless and utterly dependent,
are the ones who know how to praise You best.
They just are... and they just receive...
no agenda, no doubts or fears.
They don't question why they are loved,
they just accept it.
And because You have made true wisdom to be foolishness to man,
You have made these little ones to be
the very epitome of strenth in Your kingdom.
This shuts up the enemy - the one who preens
and makes a big show of appearing "strong" and unbeatable.

Let me be small. Let me be humble.
Let me be utterly dependent on You,
helpless and hungry for Your every look and Your faithful nourishment.

Who am I that You would even think of me?
That You would give me a family and ministry and hope for the future?
Your love is amazing!

O Beloved, my King,
Your name shouts of who You are throughout the earth!

2005-02-24T19:36:00.000-05:00

I breathe in the wide open sky.
Beloved, pull back the cloudy curtain to the blue beyond;
take me to where my soul can expand.
I want to chase those sunbeams to where they began.

(drive to Columbus 2/23/05)

2005-02-20T18:03:00.000-05:00

Whoa, three blog postings in a month! Aaron's going to fall over from shock.

Speaking of Aaron, I know he would encourage me to write my thoughts from the past weekend of "A Conversation with Eric Herron". The conversation was loosely structured and revolved around these words "Missional Worship Artist".

Here's some of my favorite important thoughts:

Worship= a wholehearted response to God with accurate understanding of who He is and what He does

Worship Artist = a skilled maker who makes things that COMPEL others to worship God

(I've never really considered myself to be an artist, but with the above definitions, my little prayer poem efforts make the cut :)

Art = is a process not just the artifact or result.
Creating art is like taking light with a magnifying glass and focusing it on something specific. The artist creates a symbol/artifact and then the receiver receives it. But then there is the meaning. The meaning connects it all. Will the receiver get the meaning? Will the receiver surpass the artist's intention?

Interesting perspective: Dorothy L. Sayers in Mind of the Maker said that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are like the process of creativity. The Father is abstract and invisible. The Son is the artifact made, the Incarnate Word, the visible image of the invisible God. The Holy Spirit is the brooding force, like the meaning of the creative process.

The Mission of God = to create more worshippers (not get more to pray the sinner's prayer, fill your church pew, etc)

Some conclusions....
Conclusion 1 - Each of us is like an instrument adding our own sound when He breathes into us.

Conclusion 2 - In the end, we will all worship together! Worship is a sliding scale....right now we are in the shallow end of the pool (when worshipping corporately or alone) but when we see Him face to face, we'll finally be in the deep end of the pool. And we'll be together - entire body of Christ worshipping corporately.

Each sound adds to the orchestra of heavenly worship. We're meant for the orchestra!!

Conclusion 3 - Our purpose as worship artists? To create more worshippers....to create in skilled way that COMPELS others to worship.

2005-02-16T09:30:00.000-05:00

Here is my first attempt to link two passages that we discussed coming home from Monday night House of Prayer: Psalm 133:1-2 and Ps 45:2 (which we were singing).

Behold,
how good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together
in unity!
It is like the precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.

Precious oil, sacred oil
poured out in heady perfume.
The mystical anoints with mystery.
As the fragrance rises,
the divine unites with humanity.

Oh Jesus,
You are fairer than the sons of men;
grace is poured upon Your lips....
It is like precious oil poured out,
kindness running down the beard,
favor running down on Your beard,
generosity filling Your mouth and spilling,
spilling upon Your garments and Your people.

Precious oil, sacred oil
poured out in heady perfume.
The Beautiful anoints with grace.
As the fragrance rises,
You unite with us.

-2/16/05 Kendra Barrow

2005-02-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

On New Year's Eve, I had gotten a fresh word from the Lord, "Suddenly, a new season". I didn't know if it was for someone else, or for us. I'm thinking it is for us.

Two little parts: "Suddenly" and "a new season". With incredible rapidity, our booming housechurch birthed a new one and then quickly died itself. John and I find ourselves, after a decision to formally close down Identity housechurch, in a position similar to "man without a country". Actually, in a very ironic way, similar to the main character in the movie Terminal, which we just watched last night. Joy and sorrow. Emotion and logic. Thoughts of the flesh battle thoughts of the spirit. Pride in new leadership and new beginnings. Excitement for our own unknown journey. Loss of what has been known.

And with incredible rapidity, John's parents have come to stay off and on in our upstairs apartment. The last few days have been ones of joy and richness for our family.

We're entering a new season.... rapidly. Suddenly, everything has changed.

Now we must put our "money where our mouth is". We choose daily to trust Him. He is an ever-present help in times of trouble. He is our Guide, our Comforter. He knows me and He loves me still. The words of our own VC song echo in my ear, "I will follow You, where You lead me...."

2005-01-28T17:55:00.000-05:00

I found a poem from long ago...one that I thought was lost. This prayer seems like one of those books I reread every few years: dog-eared and well loved.

3/16/00
sweet spirit - i believe.
give a language to these groans,
these slippery unformed thoughts.
make flesh and bones of my cries,
that all petitions would be fully formed before
the father's piercing gaze.

o holy light, who placed in me this burning,
may your will be done in each
ripple of man, family, country, world, and the
uttermost of the heavens.
sweep your love across the skies of deaf and dumb,
dreamer, skeptic,
and with it, perfect glory.

2004-12-15T16:08:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it has been over two months since I've written. A crazy two months. My precious nephew was born...Xavier Deuteronomy Jones. The huge work deadline that has hung over my head for 9 months of this year has finally come and gone, with success. My sister got a cyst that was huge, had surgery, found out it was benign, and has been recovering for the last 5 weeks. I started working part-time and have been playing "catch up" on the many things in my life that have fallen to the wayside since February.

I have felt myself be distant from myself and God. On Monday night at the House of Prayer, He told me that it is now safe to unpack myself...all those emotions and thoughts that have had to stay somewhere until I had the time to let them out. Today I had a retreat day. Time. I had a few instructions from Him on how to unpack myself...and so it began...a flood of tears and of healing. Grief over what has been lost in the last year, amazement that He is still here, I am not lost, and that the Fortress has been waiting for me.

Here is a section of a Mike Bickel book that I was drawn to today. "I speak this confession to God when I face pain and pressure: I am loved, and I love You; therefore I am successful. I love You even when my love is only in seed form and is still immature. Even though my love is weak, the position of my soul is to be a lover.... Pain drives our soul into the secret place...in that posture of refocusing my soul....It is like a muscle that is worked over and over. My heart keeps enlarging in the absolute truth that I am loved, I am a lover, and therefore, I am successful."

O my Rock, help this truth to go deep.

2004-10-08T14:37:00.000-05:00

Desire is meant to be a roadmap Home. John said this last night at housechurch when we were talking about our individual passions.

I think this echoes CS Lewis' last book in the Chronicles of Narnia: the stuff of this earth and in this life we purely desire are shadows of the life to come. Desire is not meant for us to ache or run from or push down but for us to learn about who we really are and where we are going. There's a David Wilcox song about longing. I can't remember the exact words but it's something like.... "when I feel lonely that means some room (in my heart, soul, mind) is empty. That empty room is there by design. When I feel hollow, that's just the proof that there's more for me to follow - that's what the lonely is for."

I like the concept to use desire to understand our journey. In otherwords, what I desire (or think I want) is not totally the point. The desire becomes my teacher and the journey leads me to more fufillment than just "getting what I want."

Mike Bickel from the Kansas City International House of Prayer has said over and over that we get exhausted by this life and even ministry unless we spend time in adoration, gazing on the One we love. Since we don't fully know Him yet or comprehend the fullness of His magnificence, our adoration or time spent consciously expressing love to Him will fall short, but it is still needed by us and wanted by Him. I've been thinking about our desire for Him a lot lately because we have spent a good portion of time in our House of Prayer Monday nights contemplating His beauty and adoring Him. Telling Him that I love Him and long for Him somehow makes it more real, and expands that place in my heart. The longing has grown; the love has grown. The understanding of His beauty has grown. This desire for Him is my roadmap Home.

2004-09-22T06:39:00.000-05:00

I re-discovered a little verse this morning. It describes the famine in the land, and how Joseph was sent ahead to Egypt, but then waited in chains:

Ps 105:19 Until the time came to fufill his word,
the Lord tested Joseph's character. (NLT)

So in due season, at the right time, the promise would become fufilled. In the meantime, Joseph's character was tested. Then he would be ready for the fufillment of the word of the Lord. The New King James has a different twist on it....

Until the time that his word came to pass,
the word of the Lord tested him.

It almost feels to me like the prophetic word or promise itself tested Joseph. In his case, the dream that he was meant to be in a place of authority. Did he struggle as a servant or in jail for those years: "Hey wait! I was meant to be more than this!" I think I have echoed those same words many times about many prophetic promises that are still unfufilled in my life.

Can I, can we wait until the time comes for the word to be fufilled?

2004-08-31T15:08:00.000-05:00

The last 8 days have been ones of trial and hardship and loss. However, despite that reality and some battles with fear, eventually this prayer to Jesus has burned brightly within me: “You have sweetened the suffering with your love and friendship. You have not withheld your frankincense from the myrrh; you have not left me with bitterness.”

How wonderful to know that in the hour of testing (where I have failed so many times in the last year), I passed with flying colors! That my faith is strengthened, that I have chosen to trust Him and proclaim His goodness before my brothers and sisters.

How glorious to sense His presence all around me! To sing of His sweetness and experience it, not just words. As we sang last night at the House of Prayer, “we will sing of Your beauty, we will sing of Your glory; we will sing of Your fragrance, we will sing of Your radiance.”
Beloved, He is good.

2004-08-25T09:34:00.000-05:00

Harvest Time

Always, man dreams about the future:
what he will sow next
and where he will reap a harvest.
The planting itself is not enough;
he longs for the day of fruitfulness.

Like God, he sees that people grow too:
young boys to men,
young men to elders.
With patient shaping and instruction,
they, too, will bear much fruit.

But unlike God, he cannot see the invisible future:
he runs away from Suffering,
the most patient and fruitful of all his teachers.
He twists and turns to escape her voice
and rarely listens long enough to discover her wisdom.

My child, don't run.
After you have suffered a little while,
your Father will restore and strengthen you.
Let Suffering perform her full work,
for her harvests are always bountiful
in those who heed her words.

-klb 8/19/04, see 1 Peter 5:10

2004-08-16T06:33:00.000-05:00

Last night my good friend Juli got married. It was beautiful and fun and all a wedding should be. There was no fear: Juli and Dave will be good partners.

Bart Campolo gave the homily and he said some thought-provoking, stretching important things to know. Part of life is change. When you marry your spouse, that will be the only day he/she is "that person". They will keep on changing the rest of their life, and so will you. Sometimes we complain "this isn't the person we married!" It's true. But instead of holding them to who they were, we need to expect them to change. We must instead learn to love the person they have become, and will become. Each time they change into a new person, we must discover it, and find a way to love them.

That is the marriage commitment: to love all of the people they will become!

2004-07-07T05:37:00.000-05:00

Last time I wrote a poem about due season. Still chewing on that theme... at the right time, in due season Psalms 145:15-16. I was reading a book called "Come to Papa" by Gary Weins out in KC and found some wonderful thoughts on this topic.

He described Adam and Eve doubting "whether God really had their best interests at heart. They wondered whether he would really satisfy their desires for significance, intimacy and destiny." So Satan convinces them that God is not trustworthy, cannot be counted on; that his timing is not perfect and they can't wait for him to fufill their desires. Yow! That's at the core of my everyday struggle right now.

We/I crave fufillment. Will I trust him to give me everything I need at the right time? In due season. When he deems is perfect timing. In the way that he deems is perfect. Will I resist grabbing it for myself? Like Sarah who gave her maidservant to Abraham? Like Rebekah who convinced her younger son to steal the birthright of his brother? Will I resist filling myself with things, even good things, that can never satisfy me because they are secondary pleasures, not the True Pleasure. "We think that if we can just ...get connected with any one of a thousand things, our life will be better and be more fufilled."

At this point, I feel the Lord ask me some questions. "Am I enough for you? Must you have other things to be satisfied with Me?"

Oh Jesus, help me in my unbelief! You are MORE than enough.

2004-06-21T06:03:00.000-05:00

In Due Season

Every morning—the sky—
a different color.
A glimpse into your glory.
A revelation into your
infinite possibilities.

(For even at rainy dawn,
your golden light breaks through
at a distance.)

Minute by minute, there’s a new hope
and a fresh beauty unveiled.
At the right time…
in due season, I too will understand.

-klb 6/21/04

2004-06-18T08:26:00.000-05:00

Wonderful

You hem me in--behind and before,
within and without,
past and future.
Like a mystery glimpsed,
you have set yourself before me,
while I have been unraveled
from spirit to bone before you.

You have read my book of days—
each line and between.
Are not my unspoken desires
known to you?
Are not my hidden agendas
clear to you?
For you have created
the language of my dreams
and taught movement to my being.

O God of Jacob, God of my heart,
you are fearfully wonderful.

-6/18/04, from Psalm 139

2004-06-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've just finished reading "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers. There's a lovely passage that describes the life we live on the outside, interacting with other people, and the inner life of our mind and heart. One of the characters depicted this duality by describing it as an outside room and an inside room. As she grows from being a child with freedom to explore to functioning more as an adult and getting a job to help support her family, the inner and outer rooms change.

She says, "But now no music was in her mind. That was a funny thing. It was like she was shut out from the inside room. Sometimes a quick little tune would come and go- but she never went into the inside room with music like she used to do. It was like she was too tense. Or maybe because it was like the store took all her energy and time. Woolworth's wasn't the same as school. When she use to come home from school she gelt good and was ready to start working on the music. But now she was always tired. At home she just ate supper and slept and then ate breakfast and went off to the store again. A song she had started in her private notebook two months before was still not finished. And she wanted to stay in the inside room but she didn't know how. It was like the inside room was locked somewhere away from her. A very hard thing to understand."

I have had this feeling and sadness of "losing" the inside room many times over the last few months. But even as I type the passage above, I think there may be some deception there. Surely nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, or from himself, or from our true selves in him. Not work, not tiredness... The passage describes how I feel, but not the truth. It's not the same thing.

2004-06-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

Some new poems....

Morning Prayer

Holy Spirit, counsel my heart.
By your great wisdom,
lead me to listen to the One I love.
I will open my mouth;
fill it with good things
that please my Beloved.
Awaken my deep to your deep.

Faint with Love
(from Song of Songs 2:5, 6:3 and Eph 5:32)

Tell him I am love sick.
Tell him I am overcome
by his faithfulness to me.
Tell him I am overwhelmed
by the fervour of his love.

I am my Beloved's
and he is mine.
It is a mystery
(too wonderful to comprehend).

Tell him I am faint with love.
Tell him I am blessed
among women by his wooing.
Tell him I am strengthened
and refreshed by his love.

I can give love
and I can receive love.
It is a mystery
(too wonderful to comprehend).

2004-04-27T12:05:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I've been able to write. My work is increasing in demands on my time and energy, so I'm having to go to Plan B.... cutting out many normal activities like church leadership meetings, hanging out with friends, my Bookclub, etc for the next 4 months.

I'm tempted to complain (oh, what am I saying, I've already complained about a million times internally). But the Lord has reminded me of 00009ames 1:4 "But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." He's making me like Him - perfect. However, this is the way for me perfected, to be holy as He is holy, and it costs something.

Despite the craziness and pressure that I'm under, there have been some moments of true joy as well. I had the opportunity to minister with Sandie by facilitating a few hours of a women's retreat for another housechurch within our network. What joy to see how beautiful these women are to the Father! And to be used in a small way to bring them to a deeper understanding of their identity. I also attended a women's conference in Michigan with my "Barrow" side of the family. With a cultural and racial mix, I was able to dance before the Lord with ALL my might! I love it when worship gets out of control!! John and I got to spend some quality time talking in the car as well.

These moments of joy remind me of something that Dave Nixon talked about on Easter Sunday. We often feel like God is not coming through on some "deal" for us to have a good life. However, we are not promised in Scripture a life that is anything close to the American Dream. Hardship is promised, trials along with the all-surpassing joy of knowing Him. Dave reminded us that the same Holy Spirit that descended on Jesus after his baptism, that brought that pinnacle moment of intimacy and joy as the Father said to all "this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased", is the same Spirit that led Jesus into the wilderness. The wilderness where he was starving and lonely and tormented.

As Mike Bickle would say, we cannot be offended at the Lord's ways. We must accept the Holy Spirit and his leading to the moments of wonder and the days of wilderness....the myrrh and the frankincense (if you've read my past blogs and poems).

2004-04-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

Friday night was spent at Via Crucis.... a wonderful artistic interactive "stations of the cross" experience in preparation for Good Friday. Each station was built around using different senses (sight, sound, touch, smell) to allow people to meditate in a different way the Way of the Cross. I was impressed by the quality of artists and musicians who have connected with Vineyard Central and the ways in which they use their giftings to share spiritual concepts and truths.

My life is rich!

I had the opportunity to pray with people taking communion during the last few hours of Via Crucis. Most of these people were unknown to me. I love this chance for God to show up, because when I pray something that really resonates for them, they know that it is from God and not my human intuition or wisdom.

2004-04-12T12:16:00.000-05:00

This is the series of poems on Myrrh that I've been working on. Myrrh=suffering.

Myrrh I
The mountain of myrrh: heights of passion that rise with deep suffering.
This passion crushed
releases the sweetest scent.
The scent of suffering
draws the lover.
The Beloved One is enticed
by the fragrance of sacrifice.
He is drawn to the one
who has chosen to be like him,
to wear suffering deep in her heart.
He has been so alone on the mountain.
He has felt forsaken by all.
No one has journeyed to this place –
they were afraid of the heights, afraid of the pain.
The Beloved One is the only one
who has gone his way to
follow the will of the Father.

But now she wears the
bundle of myrrh between her breasts.
In the dark night of death
when her faith is tested,
each submission of her will,
though imperfect and weak,
still releases a tiny scent of suffering
and draws him to rest there.

-Kendra Barrow, 2/28/04

Myrrh II
This is my bottle of perfume,
this is my box of myrrh
that I throw at your feet to be broken open….
my desires, my grief, my lack, my incompleteness
(each day, over and over).

Rise! Rise up, Perfume of my Suffering!
Rise up to the face of
my Beloved.
O Myrrh – give my Beloved this message:
I am willing
to go my way to the mountain of death.

-Kendra Barrow, 2/29/04

Myrrh III
I’m the candle that is burning;
I’m the myrrh that has been crushed.
Even in my weakness,
The very Flame of God
has torched my impurities.
They’re burning away:
my selfishness, my pride, my
domineering spirit, my wants and my
needs.

Beautiful Flame, come and burn
away all my life that’s less
than glory.
Remove the impure so that
only love remains.
Remove the scent of my will so that
only myrrh remains.

-Kendra Barrow, 3/16/04

2004-04-05T06:34:00.000-05:00

As I've written about before, I've been in a season of suffering. The suffering mostly comes from the pressure at work and how that affects my mental, emotional being and my marriage, my home, etc. I've also been trying to start seeds for my garden in the basement. As the Lord often does, he gave me a planting metaphor to apply to my current situation.

Some seeds require light to germinate, but some require darkness.

Interpretation: the seeds are the things that God wants to grow in my heart: maturity, patience, faithfulness, etc. Some of these seeds require God's presence, the Light, in big doses. As I am exposed to Him, I am awakened within, I experience new possibilities and am given inspiration that I never had before.

But some of these seeds, like patience, require trial and suffering. The seed requires darkness, the experience of feeling like God's presence is hidden from me, in order to produce an environment that really gives patience an opportunity to grow!

I was reading in "The Purpose Driven Life" this morning and it reinforced this same idea. Rick Warren says that "temptation provides the choice" to do the right thing and that God can develop the good seeds in us by allowing us to "experience circumstances in which [we're] tempted to express the exact opposite quality."

It is these glimpses of God's purpose, of the Truth, that make me commit in my heart to stay faithful in the moments of testing and to choose to praise Him.

2004-03-30T13:53:00.000-05:00

Last night (I started writing this 3/29 and never finished posting it) I went to the Cincinnati House of Prayer and had the priviledge of worshipping the Lord with my teammates, Mike and Sandie. We have a two hour time slot dedicated to adoring the Lord, praising his marvelous works, and giving him our love. The format is a combination of hymns, current worship songs, prayer and spontaneous songs. In one of those Holy Spirit moves, we didn't want to stop, so we kept going for another hour! It is this kind of worship that helps me understand that we will never ever be bored in heaven.

These are some of the spontaneous songs that the Lord put on our hearts last night:

All things are held together by you. (We went to Colossian 1:15-20 and sang through these verses. Later, I found in my Bible that this was an early Christian hymn that Paul had quoted. So we were singing a song that Paul and the others sang!)

Let it [our worship] be a sweet song,
let it be a fragrance,
let it be the sound Your heart desires.

Awaken your bride, awaken your lover

Break the chains
Break the yokes
Set us free to follow you

Your fire breaks the yokes of bondage

Like a jealous lover you will come for us

In the light of your countenance,
We become beautiful

2004-03-28T21:46:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for today, a true day of Rest.

John and I took a long walk at Spring Grove Cemetary, letting the spring breeze and the sunny sky fill us with happiness. As the Song of Songs says, "Come, the winter is past and the springtime is here." You don't really understand what that means until a day like today. Our Bradford pear has spontaneously burst into flower and every bush has buds. Though all seemed dead and hopeless in the winter, each of these plants were doing things unseen that are now appearing. Thank you, God, for life!

2004-03-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

Today I've been thinking about some lines from a poem, "Hospital", by Karl Shapiro. A physician had mentioned it at a meeting and it has rattled in my brain since then.

"Kings have lain here and fabulous small Jews
And actresses whose legs were always news"

A humorous way of stating that the hospital is filled with the pompous and the humble, (describing both patients and staff, I might add). In my tiny sphere of influence, I wish to spread hope and humility. Humility to mean "not thinking lower of myself or better of myself than what is true".

2004-03-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

Last night we enjoyed hosting a dinner for a group of young adults from Madison, Wisconsin. They are in a 3 year program at Mad-City Training Center (or something like that). My husband made a bountiful Mexican meal and we had good conversation about what God is doing among artists and how to they can grow into more intentional community. They are good folks - kin of the Spirit!

Another recent delight, Monday night at the Cincinnati House of Prayer we had such a wonderful time with the Lord! Steve Eklund was visiting that night, and during an especially anointed period of time, he played his trumpet. It was so beautiful! I have a mini digital recorder, and though not great sound quality, I have been enjoying replaying it.

I can't talk about the last 5 hours at work so far without using expletives, but I can still be thankful for these moments of clarity. Ahh, worship and intimacy...... that is what matters in life. These momentary trials will fade away.

2004-03-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

Being a bit sick, I've decided to stay home for the day instead of letting guilt strings bring me to work. John is helping some friends do manly man things and so I am just enjoying the quiet and freedom of an empty house.

I took a leisurely walk with Sarah Klinefelter this morning. A woman to woman chat - it is good!

2004-03-11T10:18:00.000-05:00

A poem from February......

Holy Spirit, blow through my wide open spaces.
Reduce me to this:
clean, crisp, Montana-like snow fields.
I want to lose Distraction,
leave behind the spirit of Hurry.
I’m ready for Solitude,
space to think,
time to be.

-2/8/04

2004-03-07T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day....housechurch shared with the Tilden group (from whence we came) with good discussion about what we've been doing in our 2 housechurches and then about the movie "The Passion of the Christ". Since our housechurch just saw this last Thursday, it felt really good to discuss into some nitty-gritty. My wonderful husband helped me to work on this blog, talked to a few friends on the phone, did a little housecleaning, and just chilled.

I've been reading a book by Gary Weins, a teacher out at the Kansas City International House of Prayer, called "Come to Papa: Encountering the Father that Jesus Knew". Since many in my spiritual community have been discussing identity (who are we? what are we made for?), there was a particular passage that really grabbed me. Gary was describing that in our brokenness, we tend to look toward people and things to tell us who we are: parents, jobs, ministries, etc. However, "the yearning that exists within the human heart has a God-shape to it". So only God can tell us who we are. He says, "I am the One who defines you, and the One who imparts to you all your significance." Therefore, He "alone has the power to speak that identity into our hearts. His definition of us is the only one that is real and the only one that really matters."

What would we look like if we could really understand and live in this truth?

2004-03-04T13:00:00.000-05:00

I have just returned from a tiny pilgrimage; a journey to one of the spiritual fountains in America – Kansas City, Missouri. I went on this pilgrimage with 2 of my closest friends: Sandie and Beth. Hidden away in Kansas City is the IHOP, International House of Prayer, that has worship and prayer going around the clock 24x7. It was a blessing to be in the presence of God without distraction for 8…12…15 hours at a time!

There are many spiritual gifts that the Father gave me on this pilgrimage, but right now I am thinking about one in particular. Friends, this is difficult to understand because it is “solid meat”. I heard a teaching by a fiery heart, Wes Hall, about a particular verse in Song of Songs 4:6. It may be familiar, “Until the day breaks, until the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh, to the hill of frankincense.” Wes talked about how myrrh is a burial spice (one used on Jesus’ body), symbolizing death or suffering. He believes frankincense is a spice symbolic of communion, intimacy, and that there is this beautiful tension between the two that happens in our earthly life as we go back and forth being close to God and feeling separated or hidden or forgotten by God. Yet both intimacy and suffering teach us about our God and draw us toward him (even when we don’t feel him). So, to give you the gist of the teaching, I’ll reinterpret the symbolism of Song of Songs 4:6 in this way, “Until the True Light (Jesus Christ) returns and the shadow of death and sin flees away, I will choose to go my way (the specific daily path chosen for me by the Father) to the mountain of suffering and also the hill of intimacy with Him.”

Although the entire teaching was extremely meaningful to me, I am stuck on the relevance of the myrrh, the suffering, to my own life. There are several areas of my life that feel out of control right now: my husband losing his job, my work schedule requiring more for the next seven months than I want to give, etc. I have struggled with my response to these things by self-pity, frustration, anger – you name it. However, through this teaching, I have begun to understand that there is another way. The willingness to suffer (even though the things making me suffer seem silly in comparison with martyrdom) allows me to be changed, to be transformed in the areas that the Father knows are areas of weakness for me. They bring to light my immaturities, the places in my heart that hinder me from being able to give love and receive love fully – which is the whole purpose of my life.

These two poems are my efforts to grapple with this teaching………………

Myrrh I
The mountain of myrrh: heights of passion that rise with deep suffering.
This passion crushed
releases the sweetest scent.
The scent of suffering
draws the lover.
The Beloved One is enticed
by the fragrance of sacrifice.
He is drawn to the one
who has chosen to be like him,
to wear suffering deep in her heart.
He has been so alone on the mountain.
He has felt forsaken by all.
No one has journeyed to this place –
they were afraid of the heights, afraid of the pain.
The Beloved One is the only one
who has gone his way to
follow the will of the Father.

But now she wears the
bundle of myrrh between her breasts.
In the dark night of death
when her faith is tested,
each submission of her will,
though imperfect and weak,
still releases a tiny scent of suffering
and draws him to rest there.

-Kendra Barrow, 2/28/04

Myrrh II
This is my bottle of perfume,
this is my box of myrrh
that I throw at your feet to be broken open….
my desires, my grief, my lack, my incompleteness
(each day, over and over).

Rise! Rise up, Perfume of my Suffering!
Rise up to the face of
my Beloved.
O Myrrh – give my Beloved this message:
I am willing
to go my way to the mountain of death.

-Kendra Barrow, 2/29/04

2004-02-22T09:29:00.000-05:00

I’ve woken up with a burning message in me today after the housechurches’ leadership discussion the other night. Some of the people in housechurches feel disconnected from the larger whole; they also feel lacking in certain areas and have been going to other churches to get more teaching, more corporate worship, etc. This is said with some sadness and guilt.

This morning as I pondered these things, very real issues and disappointments for these people, I started to think about Scripture. When Paul goes on some preaching and prayer rampages he tends to talk about specific churches in specific cities. In some of his letters, he ends with some messages for smaller groups meeting in someone’s home. However, the sense is that these smaller groups are still seen as part of the larger “Church of Ephesus” or “Church of Philadelphia”. The glorified Jesus, in the first few chapters of Revelation, also refers to these city churches. Churches made up of all the believers in a city; churches that when connected become the entire Body of Christ.

What would it be like for our housechurches to truly understand that they are members of the church of Cincinnati? If Jesus Christ sees them as members in the church of Cincinnati, not just a part of a housechurch, isn’t there freedom in that?

To me, it feels like the door is wide open to attend every and any gathering of believers in Cincinnati; they are all my brothers, all my sisters, all my family, all my church. We all as believers in this geographic location have responsibility according to how the church in Cincinnati lives out Christ’s commands (at least that’s how I interpret the Revelation passages). But how can I be responsible for the church of Cincinnati if I don’t know who the church is? The only way to share in the life of the church of Cincinnati is to begin to make relationships with the church of Cincinnati. As Andrew Jones has said of Deep Ecclesiology – “let us honor the church in all her forms”. In two or three. In our homes. At our work. At corporate worship services. Over coffee. At the pub. In the stadium. At any place where there are other believers.

There is real intimacy and relationships and discipleship and worship that can be experienced and lived in a housechurch. But hey, maybe that’s NOT the end of the story!!!