Desire is meant to be a roadmap Home. John said this last night at housechurch when we were talking about our individual passions.

I think this echoes CS Lewis' last book in the Chronicles of Narnia: the stuff of this earth and in this life we purely desire are shadows of the life to come. Desire is not meant for us to ache or run from or push down but for us to learn about who we really are and where we are going. There's a David Wilcox song about longing. I can't remember the exact words but it's something like.... "when I feel lonely that means some room (in my heart, soul, mind) is empty. That empty room is there by design. When I feel hollow, that's just the proof that there's more for me to follow - that's what the lonely is for."

I like the concept to use desire to understand our journey. In otherwords, what I desire (or think I want) is not totally the point. The desire becomes my teacher and the journey leads me to more fufillment than just "getting what I want."

Mike Bickel from the Kansas City International House of Prayer has said over and over that we get exhausted by this life and even ministry unless we spend time in adoration, gazing on the One we love. Since we don't fully know Him yet or comprehend the fullness of His magnificence, our adoration or time spent consciously expressing love to Him will fall short, but it is still needed by us and wanted by Him. I've been thinking about our desire for Him a lot lately because we have spent a good portion of time in our House of Prayer Monday nights contemplating His beauty and adoring Him. Telling Him that I love Him and long for Him somehow makes it more real, and expands that place in my heart. The longing has grown; the love has grown. The understanding of His beauty has grown. This desire for Him is my roadmap Home.

I re-discovered a little verse this morning. It describes the famine in the land, and how Joseph was sent ahead to Egypt, but then waited in chains:

Ps 105:19 Until the time came to fufill his word,
the Lord tested Joseph's character. (NLT)

So in due season, at the right time, the promise would become fufilled. In the meantime, Joseph's character was tested. Then he would be ready for the fufillment of the word of the Lord. The New King James has a different twist on it....

Until the time that his word came to pass,
the word of the Lord tested him.

It almost feels to me like the prophetic word or promise itself tested Joseph. In his case, the dream that he was meant to be in a place of authority. Did he struggle as a servant or in jail for those years: "Hey wait! I was meant to be more than this!" I think I have echoed those same words many times about many prophetic promises that are still unfufilled in my life.

Can I, can we wait until the time comes for the word to be fufilled?

The last 8 days have been ones of trial and hardship and loss. However, despite that reality and some battles with fear, eventually this prayer to Jesus has burned brightly within me: “You have sweetened the suffering with your love and friendship. You have not withheld your frankincense from the myrrh; you have not left me with bitterness.”

How wonderful to know that in the hour of testing (where I have failed so many times in the last year), I passed with flying colors! That my faith is strengthened, that I have chosen to trust Him and proclaim His goodness before my brothers and sisters.

How glorious to sense His presence all around me! To sing of His sweetness and experience it, not just words. As we sang last night at the House of Prayer, “we will sing of Your beauty, we will sing of Your glory; we will sing of Your fragrance, we will sing of Your radiance.”
Beloved, He is good.